Why Smart People Hurt Part 2 with Dr. Matthew Zakreski
“It's important to know that SOMEONE GETS YOU!” — Dianne A. Allen (01:44-01-46)
Jennifer Lee said, "Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire." You may be one of the most intelligent people on earth, but at the end of the day, you want something that feeds your soul and moves you into an authentic direction. In this week's episode, we're going to continue learning more about smart folks and how they see the world differently.
Part One of ‘Why Smart People Hurt Part 2 with Dr. Matthew Zakreski’
Matthew Zakreski is a graduate of Widener University's Institute for Graduate Clinical Psychology in Chester, PA. During his time at Widener, he has specialized in working with children and adolescents in schools, outpatient, and inpatient settings.
He has worked with children in both individual and family therapy modalities, consistent with a systems approach to psychotherapeutic treatment. While at Widener, he also specialized in working with gifted individuals. To that end, he has collaborated with professionals already in the field and has presented about his work with the gifted at multiple conferences.
He is currently a Post-Doctoral Fellow at Evergreen Counseling and Psychological Associates in Conshohocken, PA. He is interested in working with people in multiple therapeutic contexts, both with therapy and assessment.
“Be careful not to get burned-out by overcommitting and overthinking.” – Dianne A. Allen (02:13-02:26)
We ran out of time while discussing the first part of this topic because there's so much to learn about smart folks that we can apply to our daily lives. If you haven't listened to the first part, you may want to do that because you'll learn a little bit more about Matt, the other questions I asked him, and the exciting stories that he shared that will give you a fresh perspective.
So, most of us have experienced the feeling of being burned out because of over committing and overthinking. I asked Matt, "What would you say to the person struggling with that? What are your thoughts and proposed resolutions?" I'm fascinated with his response because, as a visionary leader, it's a big issue that even I realize. He says, "The world is never going to stop asking you for things. There's always another book to write. There's always another client. The best thing to do is decide based on your values and what's important to you. That gives your YES and NO more integrity." I agree with him because it makes people respect you more.
Part Two of ‘Why Smart People Hurt Part 2 with Dr. Matthew Zakreski’
Previously, we talked about the curse of competence where you have this mindset that says, "If I won't do it, no one else will."
Matt says, "The problem with this is you're setting up a situation where no one will do it. If you feel like you're the only competent person to do it, that doesn't mean other people can't do it in the future."
Matt has taken something off his plate during quarantine by teaching his two-year-old child to feed their cats. He's happy that he doesn't need to do it anymore. It's essential to remember that you're not the only person who can do certain things because you can empower other people to do it. There are better and more strategic ways to shift things. Perhaps, someone is doing something that they hate, but you love it, or vice versa.
“Promise yourself that you'll give time to whatever feeds your soul.” – Dianne A. Allen (31:17-31:19)
Here's an interesting scene. He was once in a meeting with a very well-respected school psychologist when he got told, "You know what happens if we only talk about this kid's strength? He'll feel better about himself; he'll do better in school and make more friends!" We all want to be recognized for our exceptionality, right?
If you know someone with lactose intolerance, you don't tell them, "How dare your small intestine not digest lactose properly!" That would be a ridiculous thing to say. It's less toxic to have a supportive and welcoming community that appreciates diversity. Valuing the things we bring to the table and embracing our differences can help us move forward intentionally towards success.
This spontaneous interview with Dr. Matt offers a lot of WISDOM NUGGETS about many more topics: sleeping, creativity, the curse of competence, depression, and diversity! No matter where you are in the world, if this is something that resonates with you, I recommend you check out the whole episode. I PROMISE YOU, it's a must-have podcast episode worth listening.
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